Being a single mother

It is not a simple experience, and you have to have a lot of confidence in yourself and a good dose of courage.
Also to ask for help. We offer you some tips to face this situation as well as possible.
Face motherhood when you are alone because for any reason,

the future dad will not share this experience with you, it is a situation in which the future mom must fully develop her potential and demonstrate all her strength and determination.

The test has been positive: what do I do now?

When it comes to an unexpected pregnancy, the emotions are very strong and contradictory.

It is appropriate not to be in a hurry and possibly not be discouraged by the situation. Facing motherhood without a partner is not easy, but it is possible, especially if the future mother does not isolate herself and seeks support in the family and loved ones.

The objective is to live the best possible months of waiting, adapting our life to the new circumstance and accepting it little by little.

The difficult moments, when the absence of the father is most noticeable, will not be missing, but, concentrating on the baby and the joy of being a mother, the woman can make this experience an opportunity to grow and strengthen her character, discovering, to Sometimes, it has unexpected resources.

Ultrasound: alone or accompanied?

In the gynecologist’s waiting room, all moms are there with their partners by their side: a very pretty image that can hurt a woman who, instead, is living alone these moments.

The first ultrasound is an important appointment for all future moms and represents a special occasion because it allows eye contact with the baby.

If the thought of going alone to have these controls or exams is painful, we can ask a family member or friend to accompany us, or even our midwife.

Other reference figures

Creating a potential support network is essential. If the couple is not there, there may be other important reference figures.

It is not about replacing the father, but not being alone when facing the different stages of pregnancy and motherhood.

This may be the perfect occasion to discover, surprisingly, that someone is willing to offer us your help.

When a situation of great difficulty arises, the most frequent reactions are either “leaking” (from people who, as they do not know what to do, prefer to move away) or from great support (from people who do everything possible to offer to the future mom all the help and encouragement she needs).

Labor: how to organize

Without a doubt, the first periods of childbirth are very hard for everyone. The future mother has to face fatigue, a peculiar hormonal situation and thousands of doubts and uncertainties.

Also at this stage, the advice is the same: avoid isolating yourself and asking others for help.

It is appropriate, for example, to participate in a childbirth preparation course to talk with other moms who have the same doubts and difficulties.

The information and suggestions received here will help to face the first months with the baby.

Each woman can decide whether to share her experience as a single mother with the other mothers. If you don’t feel prepared, you don’t need to tell your own story.

To “protect” the need for privacy, you can ask the staff for help. In the case where the experience is preferred, the moments with the support group can offer a valuable space for assimilation and reworking of the situation.

If these initiatives do not exist in your city, you can look for situations to meet other moms, for example, by going to the park or by contacting a mother in the birth preparation course.

If the negative feelings and melancholy become too strong, rather than the joy of motherhood, it is better not to wait and ask for help without hesitation, if necessary also by going to a psychologist.

In case of economic problems

Many times, one of the problems that the single mother must face is the economic situation, which can be a source of stress and worry.

It is important to inform yourself through the institutions about the aids and facilities provided for single moms.

The discrimination of the single mother?

In Spain, almost 400,000 women are single mothers and more than 80,000 families are single parents. However, single parents have virtually no social or fiscal assistance.

One in five women who attend an assisted reproduction clinic does so without a partner.

Despite this increase in the number of mothers without a partner and the number of single-parent families, this family model is one of the most discriminated by social and fiscal policies.

 

In general, the single-parent family:

– It does not opt ​​for equal adoption to national adoption.

– Women without a partner are not admitted in all autonomous communities in public health to opt for fertility treatment.

– There is a specific “reduction by joint declaration” that is applied on the tax base of what the tax identifies as a “family unit”.

This reduction is higher for biparental families (3,400 euros) than for single parents (2,150 euros).

– There is discrimination between autonomous communities.

– While some contemplate the single-parent family card, give specific help to single mothers or support social security treatments, among others, others obviate that there are single-parent families.