During pregnancy dad’s anxieties and expectations go to the background, but he also lives it in a very special way.
We explain how!
When talking about pregnancy, the undisputed protagonist is the future mother: it is with her that the baby creates a unique and special relationship, thanks to a symbiosis that, for a time, is physical and emotional.
But what does it mean to wait for a baby for a man? What emotions, fears, and reflections do you expect in him? Here are the psychological mechanisms that characterize the gestation of the future father.
The test is positive!
The discovery that there is a baby on the way triggers intense reactions, whether the pregnancy is unexpected or has been desired for a long time. In most cases, the future dad imagines what this son will be like, who represents the best part of himself. However, for women, psychological transformations go hand in hand with physiological ones and the creation of a relationship with the baby that grows inside her happens naturally. For man, a little more commitment and effort are necessary.
In fact, after the excitement and emotions of the first moment, many men tend to continue their daily life without concentrating especially on pregnancy and leave for another time, when childbirth is imminent or has already happened, reflection on their role. Some men turn their attention to more practical and organizational aspects, linked to the future birth or eventual elections in the professional field, organizing their work activities to ensure greater income for their family.
(You are interested: Parents also get fat in pregnancy )
Time to reflect
Waiting for a son leads the man to rethink his relationship with his father on a recessive journey, not always easy, between feelings and episodes of his youth and childhood. However, things have changed a lot from his father’s generation to his. For a time, the son represented the continuation of the lineage and the father, the authority. Today, these roles have been overcome and men have a hard time imagining the father they will be.
It is important to keep in mind that the future father is physically excluded from the privileged relationship that binds the mother and the baby and, for this reason, it is useful that the woman makes him a participant and that he is prepared to participate.
The proximity of the father is important for the future mother, who, thanks to her presence, lives the pregnancy with more serenity. At the same time, it is also a very valuable opportunity for the man, who, little by little, learns to meet his developing baby. For this, the first movements of the baby are helpful, that the future dad can feel posing his hand on his belly. Very soon, the baby will learn to recognize the father’s voice and interact with him, responding to dad’s greeting and caresses with a series of kicks and pirouettes.
The feeling of being excluded
A common experience for many future parents is the feeling of being excluded. The general attention revolves around the future mother, her needs, her physical and emotional feelings. About the father and what he experiences, we care little. However, man can also feel the need to give voice to his fears and the emotions that fatherhood awakens in him.
The woman, in general, has many people around her (family, friends, midwives, etc.), but the risk is that this community makes the man feel even more excluded. Instead, pregnancy may be the ideal occasion to create a privileged space for dialogue in the couple: if the woman makes her a participant in the experience she is living, trusting her emotions, a communication channel will be opened that will allow her to meet and feel closer to each other, before and after the baby is born.